prepare for the October rust…

As a kid growing up, I seem to recall that the first day of Autumn [Fall] was September 21. Now I’m being told that it’s September 23. Who decided to go and change the seasons on me? My girlfriend says that it has something to do with the solstice. I cry foul! This is as big a scam as when they faked that guy walking on the moon.

Why should this matter?

Autumn is the best season of the year [especially in this frozen tundra of a wasteland called Canada]. It’s also the season when Halloween is on everyone’s mind. Thus, horror movies are placed in the spotlight. Forget about the harvest and all that other Martha Stewart shite. I don’t want to see a cornucopia of anything. Autumn is a time for pumpkins and empty fields with scarecrows [a la the intro to Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers].

This is the time of year to turn out the lights and sit in the dark while images of the macabre invade your television screen. It’s a time to see wacky costumes and wacky candy in the aisles. I know exactly what I’m going to be doing this weekend and it’s going to involve a cold beer, my futon, and my DVD player.