I had a chance to finally sit down and watch El Orfanato (The Orphanage) last night. Colour me unimpressed. I didn’t know what to expect. I have been watching a number of Spanish language films lately and I just found The Orphanage to be a bit of a letdown. This is not really a very frightening film. There is one good jump scare in the movie but it’s rather tame by today’s standards.
This film is a slow burn. If you have attention deficit disorder, you’ll have a difficult time with it. I have to admit that I’m not a fan of ghost stories and I found El Orfanato to be just too slow for my liking.
IMDB’s plot summary is relatively concise:
The former orphan Laura raises her adopted son Simón with her husband Carlos in an old house and former orphanage where she was raised. Simón is HIV positive and tells Laura that he has five invisible friends, and she believes they are fruit of his imagination. Laura decides to reopen an orphanage for handicapped children in the location and during the opening party, Simón calls her to show the little cabin of his friend Tomás. The busy Laura does not gives much attention to her son; then she sees a mysterious masked boy and Simón vanishes. Laura feels the presence of other persons in the house and months later, the desperate Laura invites a team of parapsychologists to try to unravel the mystery.
Let me just say that I hated the kid who played Simón. I really had no emotional connection to him. He just seemed like a whiny little brat. Am I cold hearted bastard who hates children with HIV? No. I just hate bratty little punks. What can I say? I’m a dick.
I did like the look of the movie but that’s really not a recommendation. I thought it was well shot and the mask that Tomás wore was pretty creepy looking but that really doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. The set design of the picture was lavish but the story lacked characters that I could relate to or situations that I was invested in.
The good fellers over at Bloody Good Horror recently reviewed The Orphanage for an episode of their most excellent podcast. I would recommend listening to the gents talk about this film. Check out Episode 26 of The Bloody Good Horror Podcast for more information about The Orphanage. Or read John Shelton’s review of The Orphanage over at Bloody Good Horror. Boy, that’s some in-depth coverage for one movie.
This is a bit off topic but if I were to recommend a film that I’ve seen recently, I’d suggest that you watch another Guillermo Del Toro production (did I mention Guillermo Del Toro produced The Orphanage – I guess I just did). Check out Crónicas starring John Leguizamo. It’s not really a horror film but it is about a serial killer who kills children. It is creepy as hell. I love Leguizamo and you’ll be surprised to see him in his first Spanish language film.
Watch the trailer for Crónicas [in English but this is a predominantly Spanish film so if you have an aversion to subtitles, you're an idiot]:
5 responses so far ↓
Phronk // May 23, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Cronicas looks interesting, but those are some weird subtitles it’s got going on. Guess I’ll skip The Orphanage. It sounds like a mishmash of every other ghost story put to film.
T Van // May 23, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Unfortunately, those subtitles aren’t used in the actual film for Cronicas. If you want to see some cool subtitles, you should check out a Russian flick called Night Watch (Nochnoy dozor). http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0403358/
Gary D. Macabre // June 9, 2008 at 11:45 am
Night Watch was a fantastic film. I have Day Watch, but have yet to get it into the DVD player. I have to admit I’m nervous when they splash “UNEDITED” across the cover in as it’s a part of the title.
Phronk // June 19, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Yeah I enjoyed Night Watch quite a bit. It kinda felt hectic, like too many ideas stuffed into one movie, but I’ll take uninhibited creativity over a Hollywood remake any day.
Hans Moleman // January 27, 2009 at 3:52 am
I gots the ADD, and I was fine. Shiny things may cause me to lose my focus (like a raccoon, you know); however, there were few shiny things in this movie…so I paid attention the entire time.
I’ll save my attention meds for more important things…like…I dunno…something else.
Alright movie…not impressive…I figured out what happened to the kid right after the R-Tard broke her leg. I like movies to throw me a bone and entertain me or something…eh, that’s what I get for not having to fight in some sort of world war of unimaginable proportions. It’ll be fun when the Chinese finally invade the US. Then we can fight until our new Chinese overlords make us work in wallet making sweatshops…how ironic…oh well, if it was not them, it would have been the Japanese…I’ll move to some Pacific island…let them take me alive…muhohahaha.
Oooh, a shiny thing!